Betsy, Dan, Michelle, and I took a road trip down to Smith Rock for almost a week of climbing over Spring Break. We had hoped to ski up Broken Top to give our nubbin-worn fingers a break, but a couple freak desert rainstorms and conflicting expectations kept us at Smith. The highlights of the trip for me were Dan's and my quick run up Suck My Kiss/Thin Air on Koala Rock, leading 5.9 trad for the first time, and helping Betsy survive her first week-long camping experience.

Day 1: After rolling into the grasslands campground around 2am, we were tired our first day on the rock. At the relatively deserted Morning Glory Wall, we took turns on the coveted 5 Gallon Buckets, The Outsiders, and Morning Sky. The hardcore sporto crowd was in full effect near Churning Buttress. It must have been the constant stream of beta shouted from below for the 5.12-whatever next to me that made me blow the crux of 9 Gallon Buckets. I eventually quit whining and got up the thing...

Back at camp that night, we met the first of Michelle's ex-boyfriends. Soon after crawling into our bags for some rest, the wind started hurling rain at us, a deluge that lasted until morning.

Day 2: The remnants of last night's storm kept us cowering in our tent until almost noon. Debate over what to do with our half-wasted day began. The girls wanted to soak in the hot springs at Kah-nee-tah, while the guys still hoped to squeeze some activity out of the remaining hours. When the rain started again, we relented and headed into town, to stop at Redpoint on the way to the hot springs.

It was shoe demo day at Redpoint, so we stuffed our feet into a few pairs until a patch of blue sky appeared in the west. That was all Dan and I needed to convince us to try to get in a few pitches. On a recommendation from the guy in the shop, we geared up in the car to do Thin Air, a three-pitch route on Koala Rock. We would skip the usual first pitch (a nice-looking crack) in order to save weight by not bringing gear.

The wind blew dust everywhere as we set off on Suck My Kiss, a bolted route which links up with the upper two bolted pitches of Thin Air. The climbing was fun and exposed in places, with great view of the Marsupials and the rest of the park. A few bouldery moves started sections of slabby climbing on knobs and huge water pockets. We walked off the back to a single free-hanging rappel and slogged down the steep dirt trail to our packs. To make it back in time to return Dan's demo shoes, we ran down the trail to the parking lot.

Day 3: Today Dan and Michelle climbed Sky Ridge while Betsy and I, rising late, got in a few very short pitches on The Beard. I ended up downclimbing the unpleasant left side to retrieve a stuck hex. I was in a poor mood thanks to our late start. Stuck gear and my forgetting to put in a proper toprope anchor had me frustrated. To top it off, I got the Elvis leg on Revelations. Michelle and Dan had joined us by now, having thrashed up the harder direct finish to their route. Everyone seemed to be in a shitty mood.

We went over Asterisk Pass for a change of scenery and things didn't improve. Betsy freaked out while downclimbing the pass, unused to the exposure. Her confidence was restored, however, after she led Squashed Spider, the slabby (and now bolted) start to Spiderman. Dan and I split off from the girls, leaving Betsy and Michelle to practice leading. At first, we were frustrated in our attempts to climb some 5.10s. Dan cursed and hung on a stiff thin 5.10d until we gave it up and went far afield, in the Pleasure Palace area. Finally, we got in a fun steep pitch of 5.10b, which pleasantly ended an otherwise mediocre day of climbing.

Day 4: Tom and Adam joined us today. Dan and I warmed up thoroughly on BBQ the Pope, then worked on Dan's project, Panic Attack. I wanted to lead some cracks, so after some practice on Lycopodophyta and a little encouragement from Dan, I sewed-up Moonshine Dihedral. I got to the ground with only two slings left and a huge grin on my face. Betsy, Michelle, and Tom had a mini-epic in the sunshine with stuck ropes on the two pitches of Bunny Face.

Day 5: Rain all day. We all drove to Bend and played Phase 10. By Phase 6 or so, even large doses of caffeine could not stave off the mind-numbing boredom of the card game. We got testy; insults and baleful glares darted across the table. Closing time thankfully coincided with the end of the game, so we staggered out in search of dinner. The Deschutes Brewery was full, so we treated ourselves to laughable service and overcooked french fries at some pub nearby, tormented by CNN's war coverage on the TVs.

The last little fuck-you was the parking ticket on my windshield, protected from the still-falling rain in a plastic baggie.

Day 6: Redemption! Today was great! We forgot all our troubles and climbed some good stuff in the Christian Brothers. Betsy and Michelle romped around on Dancer and Jete, while Dan and I fueled our crack habit. After a warmup on Double Trouble, we dispatched Hesitation Blues (a bold effort by Mr. Perrakis) and Toys in the Attic. We all watched Michelle's friend Mark redpointing Chain Reaction before taking turns on a new unnamed 5.10b next to Dancer. The sun shone and we ate summer sausage. Bliss.

Oh yes, it could get better. Dinner that night on the way home was at the Black Bear Diner: greasy home-cookin' and pie for dessert.